The "fun" of shopping

I'll admit. I love to shop. I love shopping and buying things for my daughters and for my husband. My girls have more clothes combine then I ever will own in my own life time. I enjoy picking out their outfits at the store. Children's clothing has really gotten cute since I was a kid.
Picking out my husband's clothes is pretty easy, shirts, shorts , pants. Pretty simple, huh?

Then there is me. I hate shopping for clothes for myself with every fiber of my being. I hate wearing women's sizes. There is someone, somewhere that thinks fat people should wear ugly clothes. Either that they are the same clothes skinny people wear and they just look ugly because they are bigger. I'm not sure which is which though.

I'll admit. Its been so hard trying to lose weight. I envy women all of the time. You know those women who have a flat belly, perfect skin, perfect hair. They were born this way. You see them stuffing donuts and coffee in their mouths yet for some reason they keep their figure.
I on the other hand eat a pretty well balanced diet. We don't eat much fast food because well its just getting to darned expensive. Fruits and veggies our in our home and we eat them. I'll admit I don't exercise as much as I should. Which I'm really trying to work on.
But dang. I've been overweight all of my life. I just would like a break, a moment, a wish even to experience being thin. I would love to shop and pick out those outfits that I always tell my girls are so cute.

I know you say, but just go on a diet. Exercise more. Trust me , been there done that all of my life. Unless I one day wake up and find myself on the Biggest Loser I don't know what else to really do. I REALLY don't want to have surgery if I really, really don't have to. It doesn't always work and it has so many complications that come with it.

When it comes to my weight I have always felt like I've been climbing the mountain but never have seemed to get past the go. I've made it to the middle once where I had lost 55lbs and I looked good and felt great. But after having Maggie something just keeps me from getting past go. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure why it is either. I start, I stop. I get stressed. The end. Its very frustrating.

I guess in the end I know I have to make it happen. I just wish I could make it happen. I'm hoping one day I will be able to brag that I bought a cute outfit and looked great in it. I guess until that day I can continue to live vicariously through my daughters.