Friday, September 17, 2010

Living with Thyroid disease

I'll admit our blog is a bit all over the place at the moment as I'm not homeschooling this year. The girls decided to give school a try and I have been needing to work on my health.

The past 7-8 years now I've been batteling with thyroid disease in one fashion or another. The first was I was diagnosed with thyroid disease when my 3rd daughter was born. I believe I've had it for a long time previous to that but that's when finally the first time in my life I was diagnosed. I was a good little patient, taking that little tiny pill called Synthroid. For the first three years I actually felt really well on it. I didn't question what I was put on , all I knew was that finally the first time since I could remember I felt 'awake', and alive. I was losing weight with diet and exercise and I felt normal. Of course that's all my doctor said, " you just take the medication , come in for some blood tests once a year and all will be well."

Then I had gotten pregnant with Maggie. A very true blessing even though I had a few rough spots through it. I just knew something wasn't right. In the end I was right as always and Maggie was born with what is called VACTERL association. Which is basically multiple birth defects. It wasn't until about 6 months after Maggie's birth with all of the stress , lack of sleep from a sick baby and many hospital stays with her I noticed I wasn't feeling my 'normal' self anymore. I started gaining weight and somewhere along the line I began developing a goiter. I've probably had it for a long time and just noticed it more when it bothered me a little bit on one side of my neck.

Along the way I had my blood tested and the 'good ole' docs told me all was fine. So obviously it was all in my mind. Not. It wasn't until this January that I just crashed. My blood pressure went sky high and I could barely move. I was sick. Along the way I still took my Synthroid because that's all the doctors will prescribe you because " It helps everyone." Not.
No matter how much I've begged and pleaded with doctors not one of them will prescribe me dessicated thyroid hormone , nor will anyone check out other things like adrenal glands and ferritin(iron) in me. I'm sure its because of my insurance. Actually I know it is. Why would we want to heal people? No its much easier to just run T4 tests, and check red blood cell count and end it there and wisk me off on my way. Or how about rip my thyroid out? That will 'fix' it.

I'll tell you I have lost most trust in the medical establishment these days. Why not rip the thyroid out and once they've screwed me up, put me back on the Synthroid that literally made me feel horrid and then they'll send me on my way. I mean really.. I have four children that I need to take care of and depend on me.

I have read quite a bit on the subject. Joined a group a while back called Thyroidless and have learned so much about what happens to people once they get their thyroid out. Its very sad and its heartbreaking to see these ladies/men suffer so much after they get it taken out. Doctors/Endos have this cold attitude that you can live without it. Not true if your body isn't doing what it needs to be doing to keep you alive and your medicine working properly. Its nothing for these doctors to take a thyroid out and wisk you on their way because after all their work is done and their pockets are lined with your thyriod( money).

There is hope and possibility to 'heal' the body and treat the thyroid rather then just rip it out. Postassium Iodine seems to be the thing that helps the body heal and rid itself of the toxins that build up in the body that leads to thyroid dysfunction, disease, cancer , goiter etc. Its sad to see so many women get mislead by the medical community on how to treat this. Don't get me wrong conventional medicine has its place. Its what saved my baby girl. Some of her birth defects would have killed her had she been born in someother life time before now. Most kids with her Imperforate anus defect didn't make it very long after birth. So it has its place but they sure still have a lot to learn about thyroid. The master gland. Without this gland your body wouldn't function properly at all. It controls your organs so its not like an appendix or tonsils that if they take it out you'll be fine. One will be dependent on this medication for the rest of their lives otherwise you die. Enough said. I'd much rather keep my thyroid thank you.

I will admit I wish I didn't have this problem at all. Some days it seems like to much to bear. I have spent countless hours reading about what I can do to heal myself,what to take and so on. But to me its not helpful if I can't go see a good doctor that can help me. The worst thing is I just can't afford it because these type of doctors ( holistic) don't take medical insurance ( I don't blame them). We can barely make ends meet right now. Its hard enough having to save for Maggie's medical trips let alone for me. So I'm sorry if I sound like I'm having a bit of a pity party , but I feel lost, hopeless and everything you can feel when you are faced with medical problems and no way to get the right treatment. Somedays I feel like I am going to be reduced to having my thyroid ripped out and to live a shell of a life because I can't afford to pay for a 'good' doctor. But I can't fold into that because I don't want that taken away from me. I don't want to be ill with cancer or anything like that either. My girls need me and I need them. My husband needs me and I need him. It just doesn't seem right that after having Maggie and dealing with everything that I have do deal with her that I get sick with something. I am MOM, I am supposed to be on my toes to take care of my children. After all God gave me them to care for.

I'm not sure what to really do. I would have to come up with the money to test my adrenal glands. For the dessicated thyroid , for the vitamin supplements,,, and the list goes on and on. Its just frustrating. I try so hard to lean on God. I will never know why this has happened. For all of the places on my body to get weird growths , my neck. The most sensitive part of my body. On my thyroid, the gland that controls my organs, and lord knows where ever else. None of my doctors have been the least bit helpful in any respect.

That leads me into reading the book of Job. What an amazing man. I bet if he were alive today he would have a blog or a Caringbridge page documenting his trials. Here was a man that lost his family, everything he had, including his health. He had friends who told him to blame God , yet he wouldn't. In the end he overcame his health scare, went on to gain back everything and then some of what he had and reestablished a family of his own and lived for a hundred some years. Yet in the end he learned that somethings in life can never be explained as to why they happen the way they do. He knew that it wasn't God's fault. I think Job best said it when he proclaimed : " But you smear me with lies, You are worthless doctors all of you! I wish you would just stop talking ; then you would really be wise! Listen to my argument and hear the pleading of my lips. " Job 13:4-6
If these doctors today would just stop and listen to their patients that maybe, just maybe they could help people more then just throw them on medication and line their pockets with taking organs out that need to be healed and not taken out.

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